I want to scream from the mountain tops about these two black men that were found hanging in the trees in Southern California over the last 10 days. They were both considered suicide by the local police forces, a theory rejected by their families. Public self hanging? Not typical suicides, but hangings are a big part of history and deeply rooted racial tensions being activated right now. The idea that the local police force didn’t go there seems like a sign of racially driven policing. Easier to blame the dead guy. They’re only just associating the two hangings as the families painfully push them forward to investigate. Are we really still doing this? Enough already! We are a nation in pain.
But I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to talk about any of this. It’s a quiet Sunday morning. Its calm and beautiful out my window and I get to have an easy day, whatever I choose to do. I don’t want to give this my attention or make it yours. I don’t want to have it on my page and I don’t want to have to talk about hanging men. AGAIN. Yet here I am doing just that. THIS IS HAPPENING. Real life in America. I dont want to talk about it, I have to.
Our president and his followers have gassed the fires of racism and his “good people” continue to repeat old plays in their racist handbook across the country. The lynching of “liberal” politicans in effigy in the south has already been going on. And now this, lynchings of black men in CA. Proof? No, of course not, not yet. That requires police that want answers. In lieu of that it requires more time to force them to investigate. No my vitriol is based on current news, public opinions, common sense and instinct. I take pause and reflect on their reticent excuses and I call bullshit.
There’s no part of me that believes these hangings were suicides; sadly I am equipped with a personal perspective on the subject. Am I supposed to believe that while their families waited at home for these black men, they climbed, rope in hand, up trees on city streets in their hometown, attached the rope to a branch and their neck and just dropped? All this as a modern day race war happens a few miles away and across the country? They want their families and us to believe these men climbed and jumped as white power activists, fully armed, calling for “ethnic cleansing” line nearby streets and backwoods? Sorry, no. NO. I dont believe it at all.
This is what BLM means to me; calling out these swept under the rug, written off as, close the book practices of WRONG against a huge swath of our American Citizens. I am an American who believes the United States means equality for ALL; justice and accountability included.
I’m not whitewashing this for you. Suicide is nasty. Racism is nasty. Sexism is nasty. Lots of nastiness out there spreading like a virus in the sputum of angry people. I am angry too, but I’m wrapping it in love for people and myself, the anger hurts me too much. We must talk about it though. This is what talking about uncomfortable things is. Racism is deep old wounds that pass down generations. I know it, as a women of Jewish heritage, I was taught the dangers of being outed in the 70s.
It must be called out for what it is… HATE. From insufficient and aggressive policing to sly federal policy, to lynchings; there’s an undercurrent of legal crimes against blacks and other non-whites, including women of all races, that is imbedded in our creation despite the declaration saying differently. We see and know only some of it and that alone is too much; though many don’t even see and know what we do and others don’t care or they want it that way. This is domestic terrorism in America. Not Antifa.
I want to ignore it. Turn the page. Carry on. But thats how we got here. 400 years of pretending. I can’t let them hang there like it doesn’t matter. They deserve better. So do their families. So do we.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. TRUMP, THESE ARE THE ORNAMENTS OF YOUR PRESIDENCY, you racist fuck.
My Sunday gift to myself… speaking my mind. Now, facebook off, news off. I get to choose that too. Take care of yourself, your family and your community. ❤️ Arm yourself with love and common sense and the strength to say enough. The world needs it.
Disclaimer: These cases aren’t closed yet, though police preemptively made their suicidal claims. If not for family, activism and reporting, they would be.
PLEASE LEARN: The 1930s is when many of the confederate statues were mounted, they weren’t heroic nods to present day soldiers in civil wartime, they were racist bullhorns to glorify brutality of blacks. In the 30’s a white Jewish man was so appauled he was moved to write one of the most chilling songs ever written, a song of truth and history, a voice for the silenced. I first heard this song when I was a kid, I only just learned its history today. https://www.npr.org/2012/09/05/158933012/the-strange-story-of-the-man-behind-strange-fruit
I believe there is a rise of a new matriarchy and it will provide humanity a better future. It’s time.
Last night on Netflix I watched “Feminism, what were they thinking”. It was a documentary through the eyes of an amazing portrait photographer of the era. This morning I happened upon “Mary Pickford: The Muse of the movies” on TCM. I highly suggest both.
Mary goes back to the early 1900s, she was a name I knew but had no idea the MAJOR impact she had on things we take for granted today, both in and out of the movie industry.
She was a singular woman in a field of men. She was an equal partner because she made it happen, held her own with dignity and strength and led the way through a fledgling industry. She knew her value, though she admittedly wasn’t all that sure of herself. The sexist part is the omissions of her influence, not her breakthrough of barriers. The barriers didn’t really exist yet in the field she helped build.
Flash forward to the Feminists of the 70’s, now fighting for what Mary achieved with ferocity and great numbers. The early success of some women only seemed to have tightened a grip on the social role put upon us over several generations. Patriarchs survive by domination and the next generation of woman wasn’t gonna take it anymore.
The Feminist movie represent an era I was alive for, though too young to know. To see what is now vs. then I can’t believe the simplest things we take for granted were a fight to get. I’m thankful for their actions and appalled we’re still fighting for such basic conceptual thinking like equality.
I was about to say the few woman who broke the mold early weren’t highlighted, they were minimized, but I realize in that statement we don’t know. We don’t know how many woman were leaders or partners with the men whose name holds claim. That’s my point. One “new” story after another reveals women’s roles in history that we weren’t really told until now.
Thanks to storytellers who are empowered to enlighten, children will know a female inclusion in history my generation didn’t. It’s not just important to girls, it’s important to everyone as it shapes perceptions that affect us all. Our value is in our individual expression and contribution, not our gender.
Fast forward to yesterday, a day that the most women (and diverse candidates) in history were elected into political offices with record turnout of next generation voters who simply don’t want to take it anymore.
Newly elected woman may come to the table with different views and values but their milestone won’t be so easily washed from the records. Now that they’re in it’s time to go to task. These men and women have a big house to clean.
The best reason to look back is to learn how to do better going forward.
In my grandparents lifetime women were given the right to vote. Some women, white woman. My grandmother Letitia would have been about 19, probably in Kansas. She was a rebel in her time, I can only imagine what she was like back then. I am grateful to know her when I was a kid and hear stories.
It was a long fight to earn this right. For more than half our countries existence, a country built on freedom and equality, there was no voice for more than half of its population. And that’s just the vote, it was not much more, women were still basically property. Today our votes are being stripped away by policy, silencing masses through “legal” means.
100 years since she could vote and we still don’t have equality. Today there is still basically policy for white men and not white men, which is worsening thanks to the rhetoric from our current “leaders”. What’s worse yet is this specialized class in our society is crying foul because they are feeling marginalized now. It’s all so out of whack.
No offense to white men, I know and love many, but it still weighs out like that in the system and it’s not ok. How long does this good ol’ boy policy get to run the show before we say enough? We CAN say enough. We do not have to tolerate it.
The time for a matriarchal society is overdue, the patriarch has served and destroyed long enough. This is not a “vote for woman because she’s woman” call to action. Just because she is woman, doesn’t mean she is automatically right. Woman are capable of everything a man is and more; including vile and corrupt behavior.
Men and women and everything in between are needed to support a shift in thinking; from a place of power and destruction to a place of community and growth. It’s a common place to rule from, it’s tribal, ancient, old school.
Women used to be the wisdom of a society, the caregiver, the elder.
The patriarchal societies diminishment of women’s value through objective means like image and birthing are interwoven into our thinking, but it’s not nature’s way. It’s Long past time for the power of woman to bring rebirth to dying notions of what life can be. This starts in our own daily life but requires policy and practice to extend to the greater population. Inclusion, nurturing, open hearts and informed minds; imagine the creation of a world ruled from that place.
A year ago the Charlottesville protest violence woke my poetic voice and disdain for the direction our leaders are taking our country.
It’s why I started this blog.
Today there are reunion protests scheduled in DC. The battle is stronger than ever for the colors of our nation. Their spark started this raging inferno, fueled by hateful rhetoric that seeps into normal life almost daily. It’s abnormally normalized. Another season has begun and the leader of our nation is fanning these flames of hate across the country… again.
Football is back.
The tweets are twittering.
Since kneeling is “banned” in NFL, at the behest of a hateful man, it appears fists up are the new way to send the message that they won’t stand for it anymore.
Personally I love it. Personally I think that any conscientious person in any venue can show support for equal rights and disdain for the destruction of our democracy during an anthem with fists up, we can’t kneel in the stands anyway. It’s a respectful way to protest, a powerful image and it’s our right. For now.
I will show my love for country NOT with a forced hand on my chest but a free willed fist held high. I would LOVE to see a stadium full of fists in the air.
The beer garden is full of fists of beer, but there are no tweets about those that can’t even set their drink down in respect of our national anthem. The man remains silent as most of the stadium stands lazily, looking the part of a patriot without conviction. Of course, event videos show the man who cares so much about this song, doesn’t even know the words himself.
It’s not about the song. It’s not about patriotism or American values, it’s about keeping the voice of a disenfranchised group quiet… you’re here to entertain, that’s all, shut up.
This “sacred” song has been our anthem for less than half our countries history; albeit longer than equality rights for women, blacks and children.
Let’s make sure this is a shameful time in our countries history; and not the beginning of a new “white America” era. These old boys have had their run and made a mess of it. It’s time for real change; positive change for diverse citizens, both born and immigrated, to live the dream we once believed could be real. That once WAS real.
No longer about the ball and who can score the most, it’s now a venue for protesting against the leader of the posts.
When the anthem plays, hold your fist high and proud, let them know you won’t cower under their white shroud.
We believe in equality, we believe in diversity, we believe the “right” is wrong. Standing tall or kneeling low, it is not about the song.
Human kindness is at risk by a few empowered groups, pitting civilians against eachother and our valued troops.
We’re rejecting unchecked power and defective policy, if justice is truth, then the truth is discriminating inequality.
Tweeters tweet, haters hate, they attack us from “all sides”. Democracy demands we participate, decency is our guide.
If not like them, you’re to blame; that’s the way it is again. Now’s the time to end this game and stop the malignant din.
Today they admonish those of color, tomorrow who knows who it’ll be. With or against is how they role, they may come for you and me.
So raise your fist in peaceful protest, be sure to do it often. It’s better to stand for others than lie in a racists coffin.
FB popped this “memory” up today. This division holds true in society, but I’ve felt an invasive touch of persecution too, in my own little world. It’s strange to apply it in this way, but it sadly fits. Here I go… 😌
My experiences are my truth and I am bound to them, gratefully. Keeping grace while defending the reality of my existence is not easy. That may be bit dramatic, but it can feel that way when being told your truth is anything but.
Sometimes I have to clench onto the “unreal” things I’ve experienced spiritually and emotionally since Jason died because others “reality” can’t understand it. They try to take it away and reduced it to nonsense because it doesn’t fit into their belief system, but that’s not really the challenge.
I can’t change another, but I don’t want to repeat their behavior by shutting them out. It was the same challenge with my husband. I think that’s the big test for someone claiming to keep an open mind.
We are all entitled to our thoughts; it’s about respecting another’s voice while knowing I can’t and won’t change my truth to fit their needs. I can stay true to me AND embrace those that don’t understand it. That’s it, the skill to master, the one that can make all the difference. I’m still working on it and thankful for the role models in my life that demonstrate it.
Immersion of beliefs can free caged minds, if we let them in. It’s where I am, open to what crosses my path, keeping a piece of what feels right to me and letting that which doesn’t roll by.
There is room in us all for the mysterious and the defined. The understood and the unknown. Our held beliefs as truth and the possibility there’s more than we know.
I am building my new house and without question the foundation will be stronger than ever. The wolves can huff and puff but this house won’t blow over again.
Have a blessed day; may you find something good in all the realities around you.
I’m not tapping into the artery of politics these days but I have to say…. I TOLD YOU SO.
For every oil spill you hear about assume there is 100 you don’t. They don’t know or they don’t want you to know, or merely current regulations don’t require them to report it… to anyone. For decades “small” spills have quietly happened as these corporations and their lackeys have become in the financial majority with the influencing vote and no intention of doing anything but keeping that status.
When they say small insignificant spills happen with “no” impact, only a mere 20 gallons or so, keep in mind that in WA if I discard a quart of car oil improperly, because of possible environmental hazards, I could get a huge fine and even jail time. There is nothing insignificant about crude oil in your soil, just ask a farmer. Or a worm.
One silver lining to my current day to day life is the absolute necessity to check out from the mundane drudgery of the political circus. The TV chaos. The anger. It’s all too much for me. I’m too tethered to an ethereal world of energy right now, and those surges of negativity and oppression, plutocracy and egocentric annihilation of those deemed lesser than by a holier-than-thou few is unbearable.
As a result, I’ve checked out. Despite that, however, a few current events have eeked into my bubble. You know; mass shootings, deadly (insert natural disasters here), threats of war, sex scandals, shock and awe. The headlines and the footnotes are more than I can manage, more than any of us should have to manage. Constant overwhelming surges of agony from all over the world. And this is all small stuff; merely specks that survived the sieve around my existence.
It’s important to note the big stuff that’s not getting through; the marketing of it all. The promotion and televised chaos of it all. The mismatched mangled incompetent and incomplete telling of it all. The declarations of blame before anyone knows what happened. This stuff is absent, it is not missed.
It is gibberish and nonsense that adds nothing to the quality of my life and quite clearly detracts; evidenced by a physical irritability that is intensely present when I hear minutes of (pick a news source) blathering on about a man and his dancing ponies. If they really wanted to stop him, they would talk about the people doing what’s right in the country and silence his name. Like a spoiled child, no attention is often the key to changing their behavior. But that’s not the industry objective, selling stories, that’s what they are there to do.
But I digress.
Today, I see a blurb about the Dakota pipeline. A cause I was very passionate about and resolute in its harmfulness. I am still inspired by the coming together of millions of global activists and ordinary people to challenge this corporate act of greed that trampled on the sacred lives of generations.
This pipeline was a travesty against humanity in many ways, the least of which was how they illegally (and successfully) battered, abused and maimed the civic minded protestors, going so far as to pass a law allowing protestors to be run over by a vehicle if they are in the road. Extraordinary people who came together and lived in extreme conditions for months and years to stop this potential environmental assault; and it all started with one woman’s will to protect her sons grave from being decimated.
Her call was heard around the world and it changed lives forever.
Previous leadership merely hit the pause button on the pipeline for proper research; something quickly removed by the successor. Private militia armed with weapons and dogs moved in and stood guard against unarmed citizens, driving them off their own land. The media said nothing.
Sometimes there was a mention here and there about a famous person who spoke out, maybe a nod that there’s was some hubbub at all. Nothing of the thousands of veterans who gathered to protect their native brethren, a promise they swore with honor to protect our countrymen and land against all enemies foreign and domestic. Or the thousands who marched in front of the White House, camping in the parks for days.
Ordinary people were compelled to preserve history, not repeat it. They stood peacefully against the tyranny and virtual slaughter of a people in our modern day. There was little mention of the tribes that gathered and stood together representing clans from coast to coast. Incredible ceremonies with thousands of strangers living communally in peace and with intent to stand for their rights to have clean water. Clean water for all of us. This was not a native experience, it was a human experience; joining people from all walks of life and all over the world.
It seemed the media didn’t deem these stories worth telling. I believe, it’s all part of the grand scheme of a terrorist regime – yes I called them terrorists. They certainly create a sense of terror in me. It’s not one man at the top, it’s a conglomerate of powers that set the agenda for their rule; which requires witless chaos and distraction so people don’t rise up or even realize they can. From the owners of media empires to the owners of political chiefs; they want us to think we are at their mercy… but please don’t forget, THEY are at ours.
Again, I digress. See how easy it happens!
For me the lowest of low was watching this new president stand at a podium on the new pipeline that was battled to the bitter end. Standing in front of oil cronies and angry white men he gloated about industry growth and oil futures and said he thought people might be upset. He thought someone might complain, but nope, not a peep. Everyone is happy with the new pipeline. With a dropped jaw and a stale tear I was sickened.
Unbelievable. Despicable. Disgusting. Immoral. This was our new leadership setting their agenda and those are the feelings it emoted, constantly choking from the foul taste of watching things our country has fought and died for being swept away like fast food crumbs off the shirt of a loudmouth tycoon.
In my current state of being I am trying to live without judgment. I am trying to let people be as they are because I was graciously gifted with the ability to let myself be how I am, in grief and transition, from moment to moment.
I was encouraged to allow the process and live things as they come, not worry about what should or shouldn’t be because there was no judgement. It was a liberating, life changing, philosophical gift. I have been thrown onto a new path in my journey and it is not an easy road. Everyday is a new day and a new chance to be better for it.
When I encounter the idiocracy and detrimental absurdity of the going ons in the political world these days it immediately fills me with judgement and anger. As mentioned, this something I am trying to live without. But these are not ‘let them live their own life’ situations, people or problems; these are national and global crisis that will only be better if we make it happen. Alas, as is my life these day, rather than firing all my guns, I have instead made some key reflections.
One, same news different day. Other than players and places, very little has changed. I realize the last 123 days since Jason’s passing would likely have been filled with that constant negative energy had I not turned it off. Truth is, our life was like that before he died; whether caused by his emotional stress or my political ones (or everyday relationship stuff) it was ripe with negativity. Hence, my bubble. I need balance.
On a side note, about all the effort while little has seemingly changed; I was recently asked if it was worth it. “Wasting” my time on the political soap box I climbed on, when I could have been spending that time and energy on my now deceased husband. Beyond the utter shock of the question, I could only say of course it was worth it. I wanted to say I was inspired and motivated by a cause unlike ever before in my life. Jason was proud of me and encouraged my participation; from homemade Bernie Bling to becoming a delegate or creating my own protests. He may have rolled his eyes, but he helped me make my signs. He may have ignored the babble, but he helped me build the podium.
We shared similiar ideologies, although politics was not a conversation we often ventured into. Bernie ignited my spirit and called on the activist within to get up and participate. True love doesn’t put out a fire in someone’s heart, it fans it. Jason fanned my flame. This was my journey, for all its ups and downs and I had the blessing to merge it for 15 years with his. I don’t regret a thing.
OK, number two, I still care. Very much. These things I fought against are still worth fighting for. Only I can’t do it the same way now. I have merely conceded to the people on the frontlines who can do what I cannot. I send them my will and hopes to carry into the many battles ahead. I have not surrendered the cause.
Three, this too shall pass, I can only hope sooner than later. Whatever the rhetoric is today, as we have seen over an over, it does not mean it will come to fruition. Out of the ashes of despair bloom beautiful flowers; and what is done can’t be undone. What I can do is try to create my little world in the way I want the whole world; full of love and dialogue, kindness and momentum towards positive things.
From where I am sitting, I see a big picture. I see legal action that started immediately finally getting it’s day in court. I see strangers helping strangers and pure energy flowing all around and through us. I hear the cries of people now feeling the consequences of the actions they did, or did not take when they had the chance. Becoming aware is a growing pain like any other; it hurts, and once done there is no going back. Life is like a magnet, in order to function properly there must be positivity and negativity; without that balance, there is no connection. It will take a connection to ourselves, each other and the planet to save us all. Sounds tough but all that is required to do it is the decision to do it, the rest comes quite naturally.
I will fight the good fight, love hard and sleep well. Today my good fight is this, tomorrow it may be simply doing what is expected of me. But whatever the battle, big or small, I will rise with a positive vision of the outcome, live authentically to accomplish my goals and speak my truth.
The last time I watched the news Jason and I were watching the hurricane over Florida. So saying I’m out of the loop is an understatement. I will say not being in the loop is a pleasant thing. I understand the benefits of keeping your head in the sand. But you can’t stay there.
The immediate angst and stress that overcomes me with any of the BS is too much. Everyday, but especially now. But the winds blow information and I have some ideas of the tragedies of late.
I find myself connecting with the tether of grief that stretches across the country and its too much. I can’t help but think how those people will deal with life now.
Do they have a chance to figure it out or if they don’t go to work tomorrow will they lose their job, their home, their health? I could have, if not for the kindness of friends and strangers. It’s something I haven’t thought before and it weighs heavy in my mind.
But… I have something to say about the #nra once again defending any act to protect a “right” to be armed and this mystery shooter.
You cannot use logic to solve the illogical. You cannot use reason to answer the unreasonable. You simply cannot fathom the unfathomable. From suicide to terrorism; you can never know the inner workings of another human if they don’t want you to and if in order to understand you have to enter those dark places, don’t. Many don’t survive those dark places. Knowing everything isn’t everything.
What you CAN do is recognize that the nra is an organization that thrives on you believing your weapons are at risk. What you CAN do is understand the policies are what they are because the people who support this organization are voted in time and again because they lobby under fear of losing your guns. Those politicians push through the legislation written by the NRA because they all have something to gain by it. Follow the money folks.
If the NRA cared about gun rights, they would make sure people used them safely. They would make sure those people that damaged the industries name and intent paid for their crimes against humanity. They would protest murder of innocent victims and shame the action. Instead, there’s been a boost in sales because people are worried their guns will be taken away.
The ONLY thing you can do is educate your circle of influence to vote these lobbying agencies and fear mongering corporate funded politicians OUT. STOP VOTING SOLELY ON PARTY, there’s too much corruption.
Congress is currently focusing on removing rights from women (because they care about the sanctity of life) while letting millions starve in Puerto Rico (because they owe money?). That is the agenda of the day I believe.
They defend THIS ONE right, arms, beyond all others; one that historically destroys, yet they take away five others that can heal. Let’s be real, it’s been more than 5 this year.
Despite all that is going on, they are insisting that ANOTHER massacre of citizens by a white American terrorist does not warrant a sensible discussion on safe gun legislation. If he was ethnic it would be about keeping those people out. Right? Does that seem reasonable to you? Are they representing YOUR priorities?
You’re fighting the wrong people. Congress wont do anything. These politicians are dying on the vine. Let them wither, replace them wisely. If there’s one thing we’ve learned this year, it’s that we don’t need our leaders to make changes that WE as a nation want. WE have enough power to force actions through other means. Generally monetary.
Cancel your membership with the NRA. Write your gun manufacturers to force it. Walmart changed the nation with its influence, for good and bad. Put the pressure on the industry. Vote for safe gun use and national sales tracking of arms AND AMMO. Just because someone has no record and no history doesn’t mean anything. And just because they do, doesn’t either. There’s another way.
Personally, I think guns are not worth much without the bullets. Want to fire that gun? Sorry bullets are under lock and key, we’ll need information and money to give you one. ONE. I remember the shooting lesson if you can’t do it in one shot you’re not doing it right. Need 500 bullets? I disagree. Sorry, you don’t.
Justice must be served; those that did it, defend it and legislate ways for it happen again must be stopped. Im just so furious these people who call themselves leaders continue to put our citizens in grave harm. ALL OF US. I hope you are too.
Let’s do something about it, even if it’s just talk. But not today, I’m wiped out now.
I’m what some might call a conspiracy theorist instinctually, although lately it’s seems I’m more of a realist. I once was a moderately informed and uninspired voter, but that changed in the fall of 2015. I was suddenly inspired to be involved and outspoken about the decisions we are allowing our politicians, and those that support them, to make on our behalf. I felt supported and connected like never before, so much so it has led to this, a humble online journal.
Forced off Facebook by family refusing to reconcile pictures of puppies, flowers and silly comments on the lighter side of life with the pounding, gut wrenching, mind blowing day to day activities of our nations leadership of late. The dichotomy of posts was too much for some and eventually became too much for me.
Information overload… the great time suck.
Truth is, I was blindsided by a visceral response to the darker side of humanity that has come to surface lately; specifically images from Charlottesville. At that moment a spark was lit and I found myself writing more. Poems, stories, notes and now blogs. So why not… as with most things in the last year, “I’m so mad I made a…” add website to the list. I’m hoping it will be more about healing than anything. Here’s to some cathartic ramblings!