I have been blessed by the love and life I was able to share with Jason. All the people he brought into my world, all the dreams we shared, the laughter and kisses, squirrel fives and smoosh smooshes.

I’ve felt the highest highs and lowest lows of my life with him, for him, because of him.

If you knew him, you miss him. He was once full of life and joy; he was generous to a fault. His laughter filled the room while his smile brightened it. The man I buried was a different man, he was suffering and in pain, we all were.

So much of the last few months has been processing that, who and what he became, how he chose to go. The good memories are starting to flicker more often in the movies of my mind.

I witnessed two of my friends wed the other day and saw the way they looked in each others eyes. It flooded me with that moment Jason and I shared the promises, the looks, the love. I think the hard stuffs only just begun.

I love you bubelah.